Losing a loved one and going through their service at a funeral home in Shelby, NC is one of the hardest parts of life. But what happens if you can’t grieve the loss of a loved one? What do you do if you feel like your emotions are frozen in place?

This is a common experience called absent grief. Absent grief is when someone shows no signs of normal grief, such as crying, lethargy, missing the deceased, or anger. Many doctors believe that this kind of grief comes from an underlying avoidance or denial of the loss. Though absent grief is very common, many people don’t know much about it.

Here are some fast facts about absent grief to provide guidance and context:

1. It’s OK if you weren’t close to the deceased – Some might feel like they have absent grief if they aren’t grieving, but it might simply be that they just weren’t that close to the deceased. If that’s the case, it’s OK. You don’t have to demonstrate deep grief over someone you weren’t close to.
2. The symptoms of absent grief are varied – Symptoms of absent grief include no signs or symptoms of grieving whatsoever, irritability, forgetting about the loss, not feeling connected to the loss, and denial.
3. Absent grief can have physical symptoms – Holding in your feelings of loss can take a toll on the body, leading to heart palpitations, insomnia, fatigue, or eating disorders.
4. Death isn’t the only event that can cause absent grief – Other life events besides death can cause absent grief, including divorce, job loss, regret, or loss of a romantic relationship or friendship.
5. Grief is often unexpected – Grief looks and feels different for everyone, so it’s often tough to pinpoint when someone is experiencing absent grief. Check-in with yourself or the grieving person to see how you or they are feeling.
6. Avoiding grief isn’t obvious – There are many ways people that experience absent grief try to avoid grieving. For example, they can focus on taking care of others, lose themselves to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain, or dive into work in order to distract themselves.
7. Anticipatory grief can lead to absent grief – Anticipatory grief is when someone grieves a loss before it actually happened. Frequently, if you grieve before death, you won’t feel as much pain after death.
8. You can move on – You can move on from absent grief. Once you accept the loss you can work through your pain and grief to move forward with your life. If you need help doing so, don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.
9. Absent grief isn’t just denial – The “denial” stage of grief is when you try and deny the death happened. Most people face denial in the first few hours or days after a loss. But denial becomes absent grief when the denial continues for much longer.

We are here to help if you have more questions on absent grief, dealing with a loss, or Shelby, NC funeral homes. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do to help in your time of loss.

What do you do if you can’t afford a funeral at a funeral home in Shelby, NC? Here are answers to common questions surrounding paying for funerals and cremation services:

• How do you pay for a funeral with little or no money? There are many ways to cover funeral expenses, including low-cost options and fundraising.
• What happens if you refuse to pay for a funeral? The funeral home is not obligated to take custody of a body. If a family does not or will not pay, the funeral home does not have to accept the body. If the funeral home already has custody of the body and the family refuses to pay, the funeral home will pause all funeral services and planning, store the body in the cooler, and charge the family a storage fee for every day the body is there. The funeral home has the right to refuse services and can transfer the body to the state at any time, but they cannot hold a body hostage in order to get paid.
• Are there free cremations or burials? If you cannot afford a burial or cremation, you can sign a form with the county coroner’s office, and the state will bury or cremate the body for you. This will be at no cost, but you won’t have any say in where or how.
• Is body donation free? Donating a body to research does result in a no-cost cremation. You can donate your body to science through institutions like medical laboratories, medical schools, and local hospitals.
• Do you have to have a funeral? You’re not required to have a funeral. So, if you can’t afford one, you don’t have to worry. You’re more than welcome to select a direct burial or direct cremation option (the most affordable final disposition services) in order to save money. But if you want to have a funeral or service, there are ways to do so without spending too much money.
• Can you get a funeral loan? Anyone can apply for a funeral loan to get help paying for funeral expenses. They are generally available through credit unions, banks, and online lenders.
• Who pays for the funeral if the deceased has no money? If there isn’t any money in the deceased’s estate, the next of kin traditionally pay for funeral expenses. If the next of kin isn’t able or doesn’t want to pay, there won’t be a funeral.
• Are there government bodies that help with funeral costs? There are several government organizations that can help with final disposition and funeral costs including Social Security, the State Department of Health, Veteran’s Affairs, and even FEMA if the deceased died in a natural disaster.

Funerals don’t have to be extravagant and expensive, but they do cost money. Paying for a service at a Shelby, NC funeral home can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. We are here to help if you would like to learn more about preplanning or dealing with a recent loss.

Embalming is the preservation of human remains to slow decomposition and disinfect the body. The process is thought of as both an art and a science as it requires great skill and experience. Bodies are usually embalmed so they’re suitable for viewing before a cremation or funeral service. They are also used to preserve bodies for medical purposes, whether for a laboratory or a medical school. Whether you’re having a cremation or a service at a funeral home in Shelby, NC, it’s helpful to be aware of the basics of embalming.

Embalming is frequently required by state law or funeral home regulations. Some states legally require refrigeration or embalming if a body is not cremated or buried within a certain period of time after death, while other states leave the requirements up to the funeral homes. While the exact laws and regulations vary, best practices are to bury or cremate a body within a few days of death or embalm it.

There are two main kinds of embalming, arterial and cavity, but both are usually used in the standard embalming process. Arterial embalming involves removing the blood from the veins and replacing it with the embalming solution. In other words, the blood is flushed out of the veins and arteries by the fluid. Cavity embalming is when the internal fluids are removed with tools called trocars and aspirators. While each embalming expert might have his or her own preferred technique, here are the general steps of the embalming process

The first step is to wash and disinfect the body. The embalmer will also massage the arms and legs to ease rigor mortis and perform any necessary shaving. Next, it’s time to set the features. The embalmer sets the body’s features by closing the eyes and positioning the mouth. The eyes are often held shut by plastic caps and the mouth is usually wired or sewn shut. The next step is to inject the embalming fluids and cavity embalming. An incision is made in the right common carotid artery and the right jugular vein in order to pump about two gallons of formaldehyde solution through the body.

As the solution is injected, it pushes the blood out of the veins and into a drain attached to the jugular. Bodily fluids and remaining gas are removed from the internal organs, like the bladder, intestines, and stomach, by a suction hose and a trocar. A trocar is an instrument with a three-sided point attached to a tube for removing fluids. After the fluids are removed, the embalmer injects embalming fluid to preserve the body and help it hold its shape. Finally, the embalmer then closes up any incisions made in the embalming process, gives the body a bath, and then dresses it. After about 24 hours, he will return to seal the incisions with a bonding adhesive to prevent leaks, apply makeup, and fix the hair.

Do you have more questions on embalming or Shelby, NC funeral homes? We’re happy to offer our expertise and compassionate services. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss or of preplanning.

If you’re planning a service at a funeral home in Shelby, NC, you will most likely need to choose a casket for your lost loved one. But where do you start? The best place to begin is learning about the most common types of caskets, casket features, and casket materials.

To begin, there are wood caskets. Generally, wood caskets are made from solid hardwoods like mahogany, walnut, cherry, maple, oak, and pecan. Much like furniture made from harder wood is more expensive, the harder the casket wood the more expensive the casket will be. Other woods such as pine, poplar, and willow are generally the most affordable, and the least expensive wood casket option is wood veneer, pressed wood, and cloth-covered fiberboard. There are also metal caskets. The most common metals used to make caskets are bronze, copper, stainless steel, and carbon steel. Bronze and copper are the most durable as they will not rust over time, but they do tend to cost. Stainless steel and carbon caskets come in different thicknesses, each with its own price point. Metal caskets are usually more durable than wood, which is why they’re often marketed as “protective.” Though they do come with a rubber gasket to seal the casket, they do not slow down the decomposition process.

Cremation caskets are used to support the body while it’s being cremated and therefore need to be combustible and cannot have any metal parts. In fact, unless you would like a casket because you have a funeral before the cremation, you don’t have to have a true casket at all. You can choose a cremation container, or simple box, in which to cremate the body.

Don’t forget to think about additional features like lining, memory drawers, and casket corners. Casket interiors, or linings, come in a variety of materials. The most common are crepe, velvet, satin, linen, and velour. Memory drawers are special compartments built into the casket that hold small personal items you wish to bury with the deceased. These are special attachments to the outside of the casket that help denote the deceased’s life in some way, like a golfing or fishing symbol.

You also need to consider the size of the casket before you commit to choosing one. A standard casket is generally 84 inches long, 28 inches wide, and 23 inches tall. While the length of a casket is rarely an issue – as most bodies comfortably fit within the standard size – you may need to look at an “oversized” casket that has an extra width of 31 inches. What about features? Caskets come with two basic types of lids: half couches and full couches. Half Couch refers to a two-piece lid that’s usually partially opened (from the deceased’s waist up) for a viewing. Full Couch refers to a one-piece lid extending the length of the casket.

There are a lot of different caskets out there, all in different materials, shapes, sizes, and price points, so it can be hard to get started on choosing one for your lost loved one. We are here to help if you want to learn more about caskets or Shelby, NC funeral homes.

While it’s always important to have a budget for any kind of event, it’s especially true when planning a memorial or funeral service because you will most likely be distracted by grief after losing a loved one. If you’re planning a lost loved one’s funeral service at a funeral home in Shelby, NC, one of the first and most essential tasks you must complete is creating a budget.

Making a budget might seem daunting, but it’s not that bad once you get going one step at a time. The first step in creating a budget is to build an organizational tool that works for your needs. A spreadsheet is the most commonly used tool for planners to stay on top of budgetary needs. You should create a spreadsheet that has a line for everything you are going to spend money on for your lost loved one’s service. While you might not know every single thing right now, you can build the format and fill it out as you move along.

Start your budget spreadsheet by creating a few different columns. The first one is for items. What is the item you are budgeting for? Be as specific as possible, and don’t group different items together. For example, don’t make a line for food and drink. Instead, make one line for food and a different line for a drink. The more detailed you are the easier it will be to make changes down the line if needed. You also need a column for the number of items needed. The quantity of an item is very important for a budget. There is a big difference in cost between 50 candles and 100 candles, or food for 75 people versus food for 200 people. This also goes the other way, as eliminating unnecessary numbers of items can give you more wiggle room in a budget that you can use for other things.

Don’t forget about the estimated cost and the description. The cost of different items might change from venue to venue, so having an estimated cost can give you a clearer idea of how your budget is doing before you make final decisions. Also, you need to describe the item you are budgeting for. Descriptions are absolutely necessary, especially if you plan on having other people help you plan the memorial or need to have an executor or other family member approve a budget. You can also include information about whether the item is essential or not in the description.

Finally, mark down final quotes as soon as you have them to make your budget accurate and up to date. Writing down the actual cost of items can help you plan for future events and give you a good idea as to how you are staying on your budget.

Once you make a budget spreadsheet for your lost loved one’s service, the rest of the planning will feel a lot less stressful and painful. Do you want more memorial or funeral service planning tips or information on Shelby, NC funeral homes? We are here to help. Please stop by and visit us or give us a call to learn more about our services.

Memorial and funeral services are intended to preserve the memory, celebrate, and share the life of the deceased in a healing, healthy way. Planning a service, whether at a funeral home in Shelby, NC, or at some other location, is one of the best ways that the bereaved can not only say goodbye to their lost loved one but also they can begin the healing process.

How can planning a service help?

One of the best things about our modern world is that traditions aren’t as rigid as they once were. This means that you can make a service for your lost loved one whatever you want it to be. You have the flexibility and freedom of choice necessary to honor your lost loved one in a way that’s just as unique as they were. The following are just some suggestions for planning service, so feel free to go in a different direction if it’s what you feel is best.

The first step in planning service is choosing a location. This can be a funeral home, cemetery, church, or any other location that has meaning to you and your family. Some popular service locations include funeral homes, beaches, lakes, backyards, churches, golf courses, restaurants, and even local parks. Whatever location you choose, just be sure that it can fit the desired number of attendees and that it has the necessary amenities to meet your needs, from electricity and microphones to bathrooms and chairs. Think about guest participation. Guests don’t have to be simply attendees – they can also participate in the service by doing things like telling stories about the deceased, lighting candles, scattering ashes, or helping to release doves or butterflies.

You also need to consider music. Music is very important when it comes to services. Take some time to think about what kind of music will be best for your service and what kind of music will best reflect the deceased. Don’t forget about the guest list. You can host a service of any size, from an intimate moment with close family to a large event with the entire community in attendance. Just be sure you take some time to consider the space you choose and how many people will fit.

What about multimedia presentations? Our modern world has afforded us the benefits of technology, including multimedia presentations that can share memories of your lost loved one. Plus, these presentations are wonderful ways to preserve all your favorite memories in one simple place. Put together a presentation with photos, video clips, and music.

These are just a few tips to get you started on planning a healing service. Remember, every person is different and therefore every service can be different, too. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box to honor your lost loved one. We are here to help if you want more tips or information on Shelby, NC funeral homes. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today.

You will most likely need to choose some kind of burial or cremains marker, whether you’re preplanning for your own eventual passing or dealing with a loved one’s recent death and service at a funeral home in Shelby, NC.

A burial marker, as the name denotes, is what marks a burial site. However, they mean usually mean much more than that as burial markers are also what will symbolize the deceased for the rest of time. While you will always have the memories of a lost loved one, their burial marker will be what you go to visit or show future generations, and what other people will see. So, choosing a burial marker is a big deal! Use this information to help you choose the right one:

1. Upright Cemetery Monuments – More commonly referred to as gravestones, upright cemetery monuments are what you will most commonly see in cemeteries and graveyards around the world. These upright markers are easy to see, making it simple to find a certain marker in a full cemetery or field. You can easily customize a gravestone into almost any shape, size, color, or material from classic stone headstones to white crosses, marble angels and more. You can also customize what the gravestone says, with most people choosing to put their loved one’s name, dates of birth and death, and a short message.
2. Mausoleums – Mausoleums are free-standing, above-ground structures that provide a secure, dry and clean place for bodies to be interred. They also come in many different shapes and sizes, with some being small for just one body and others being massive to house multiple generations of the same family.
3. Benches – Bench memorials are just what they sound like: benches that either mark a grave or are a memorial for a deceased person. Though they are more unconventional and can be expensive, they create peaceful spaces that allow the bereaved to sit and reflect on the life of their lost loved one. Some people choose to decorate their loved one’s memorial bench with quotes, etchings, and the name of the deceased. There are even some benches that house cremated remains.
4. Flush and Flat Markers – Flush and flat grave markers are inserted into the ground above a gravesite. They are usually very simple and subtle to match their streamlined, in-ground design. But there are some kinds of more elaborate flush and flat markers, like those with vase attachments that allow the bereaved to leave flowers and other tokens on the grave.

As you consider which one you might choose for your lost loved one, just remember that there really is no wrong choice if you choose from the heart. Think about what your loved one would have wanted and what would best symbolize him or her, but don’t over-complicate it or get stressed.

These are just a few tips to choose a final resting place. If you want to learn more, get in touch with us, a Shelby, NC funeral home. We can help you choose the best grave marker for your loved one.